BUTTHEAD!!

I feel like a big old Doody Head right now! You see, this sisterhood shit is a trip. Guilt thy name is Sisterhood.

HATE Speech

I HATE my sister!! Boy that felt good. It also felt pretty bad. I have had to accept the fact though that I hate her. I know that it is never to late to change things but I am so tired and so over it. I don't want to change things with this woman, I just want to get as far away from her as I possibly can as quickly as I can. I hesitate to even write this because I believe that you invite lessons by way of horrible things happening. I don't want to say how I feel and then get the phone call that my sister is dead and then feel like shit. That would suck...

Ok, I don't really hate my sister. I love her with all of my heart but I truly don't like her most of the time. The part that pisses me off is that we have the kind of relationship that is great one minute and then shiteous the next. My sister has a boatload of baggage that makes her incredibly unbearable. Long story short, Girl meets boy, boy impregnates and abuses girl, Boy terrorizes girls Mother and sisters, Girl sticks by boys side, Boy goes to jail, Girl still chooses boy over girl, Boy doesn't change, Girl get's mad a family for not loving boy.

I resent my sister more than anything in this world. I, for about a year spent almost every evening lying for my sister, cleaning up after her stupidity, going to court with her and letting her use my car to do her dirt and you would think that the bitch would remember that but in her silly little mind, we owe her. I am the kind of person that would rather go without if I can't figure out a way to do things on my own. I never ask anyone for favors because I don't want to be seen as weak and because I hate the idea of owing people. I hate owing people because on the few occasions that I have needed something from my sister, she has been quick to throw it up in my face as soon as we had a fight. The extent of her help to me mind you being that she twisted my locs a few times. Hell, I even learned to do that so that I wouldn't have to ask her to do it.

My sister suffers from this belief that I am a spoiled little brat that never does a thing for anyone. I will admit that I was my Mom and Dad's little baby and I had a much better relationship with them than she ever did for various reasons. Some of the fault lying with them and some with her. I won't argue the merits of her belief because I would look like a total asshole trying to argue the merits of my character but I have always thought that I was a pretty good person. My sister has a big problem with a person proclaiming that they are a good person, like you aren't supposed to be aware of it. What the hell is up with that? You know if you are a bad person so why wouldn't you know otherwise?

My sister is really bad with taking her anger out on the people that it belongs to as well. If she's mad, the nearest target is in trouble. It is a shame that whenever my sister comes around I get a knot in my stomach and my defenses immediately go up because God only knows if I'm gonna get my good sister or her evil other side. She is the kind of person that can be a jerk and then five minutes come back and be as nice and can be. I'm sorry but I need an apology before I start singing lullabies with you after a fight. I just resent this twerp so very much and I don't know what to do.

You know, I just know that we will never have a truly healthy relationship so the only way that we can have a decent one is to get the hell away from each other. If I don't have to interact with her every day and see her behavior first hand I can just pretend that it doesn't exist and we will get along much better.

So long story short, I don't hate my sister. I highly dislike her a lot of the time but I love her. Would I give her a piece of my liver? Absolutely! Would I give her a Kidney? Hell, No! The Kidney regenerates itself, if I give her a piece it will grow back. Once I give her a Kidney, it's gone forever and as bad as she treats her body it would be a waste. I'd probably take her to court to get it back.